For this year’s International Women’s Day, I went to an event hosted by The Business Nest at Warbrook House. I went last year too and already knew it would be good, but I didn't anticipate sitting with something that felt deeply personal before I'd even finished my coffee.

Good employees

There were 4 speakers across the day, but Alexandra Legouix, a former motorsport broadcaster (and now fellow psychotherapist) got me the most in her talk about a career built on “performing stability”. She talked about how she kept going, kept succeeding and appearing completely fine while her life behind the scenes was a different story. She talked about how what looks like resilience from the outside can be, on the inside, just having nowhere to fall apart.

I spent years as the good employee: saying yes regardless of capacity, performing an enthusiasm I didn't always feel, putting the company's needs so far above my own that it became automatic, or as I irreverently say nowadays, “sinking deeper while I made rich people richer”. Nobody knew I was struggling, but I suppose that was the point. I burned out many times (twice in one job alone, ever the overachiever 🙃) before it finally forced the issue. Even then I left gradually rather than in any one dramatic moment. Just a slow, rueful running out of road.

So when Alex said this, I felt it very specifically:

“My life changed when I stopped what I was giving. I stopped giving my silence to people who hadn’t earned my voice. I stopped giving my happiness to companies that would have replaced me in a second. I stopped giving my peace to people who only gave me chaos in return.”

— Alex Legouix

Wellness and wellbeing

We also had a meditation from Nikita Thakrar that asked us to put down every role we perform and just exist as a person for five minutes, which was so calming it should honestly be available on the NHS. Nikita also lovingly shared a collection of poems from her own collection, some of which were written when she was just a child. Her poem Meditation, which was about sitting still and observing thoughts without getting pulled into them, really gripped me. The central image was of watching thoughts pass by without engaging, finding stillness and detachment, and connecting with an inner emptiness that wasn't frightening but peaceful.

And then there was the astrology talk by the gorgeous inside-and-out Aishling Payne from Aish and Earth. For anyone who knows me well, it will come as absolutely no surprise that I was taking notes! Aishling walked us through how the days of the week are each ruled by a different planet. Monday is ruled by the moon, a day of rest and reflection, while Tuesday is ruled by Mars, a day of drive and action. Which means my slightly impulsive decision not to work Monday mornings/afternoons is cosmically justified, obviously. And as always, fuck the patriarchy for inventing a working week that ignored all of this.

Aish also pointed out why it makes sense that the spring equinox on 20th March is our actual new year. Not the one that organised religion and the patriarchy decided should be 1st January (for reasons that have nothing to do with nature or human rhythms). The one that's been quietly true for thousands of years. As someone who has always rejected new years resolutions and never once felt the energy of a new beginning on 1st January, this was vindicating 🙌🏼

It’s the broader reframe from her talk that I keep coming back to: our sticking points aren't personality defects. They're patterns worth understanding and working with rather than against. Working with astrology in life and business can be quietly life-enhancing when you stop needing to control everything. This landed particularly hard for the unnecessarily dramatic Scorpio in the room (that’s me 😈), who apparently has a sticking point around control and forcing outcomes. Shocked. Truly.