Therapy for women repeating the same relationship patterns
If you keep dating emotionally unavailable partners, losing yourself in relationships, or wondering why you can’t choose differently, I help you understand what’s happening underneath.
I work with women who are thoughtful, self-aware, and frustrated by the fact that they keep choosing the same dynamics in love, even when they know better.
When your relationships leave you feeling smaller
You’re capable, reflective, and often very clear about yourself when you’re on your own. But in dating and relationships, something shifts.
You might notice that you:
end up taking responsibility when things go wrong, even when part of you knows it isn’t yours to carry
start second-guessing your needs, instincts or boundaries once you’re involved with someone
become quieter, more accommodating or more careful to avoid conflict or disconnection
recognise familiar relationship patterns playing out, yet still feel unable to choose differently
feel more grounded and like yourself outside relationships than inside them
You may have spent years trying to understand this. Talking it through with friends. Reading. Reflecting. Maybe even working on it in therapy before.
Most women I work with are already blaming themselves for repeating these patterns (telling me "I’m the common denominator”). But therapy with me is about slowing that self-blame down and looking more carefully at the relational dynamics that keep pulling you back into the same roles.
Relational psychotherapy for women who lose themselves in relationships
Understand why you lose yourself in relationships
Make sense of why you feel smaller, quieter, or less certain of yourself in relationships
Explore unconscious relational patterns that lead to over-adaptation, self-abandonment, or self-sabotage
Recognise the moments when connection starts to override your own needs and perspective
Make sense of repeating relationship patterns
Identify the relational cycles that keep leaving you frustrated, drained, or stuck
Explore how early relational experiences continue to shape attraction and choice in adult relationships
Begin to notice triggers before they pull you back into familiar dynamics
Rebuild agency, autonomy and boundaries
Strengthen trust in your instincts and perspective without over-explaining or apologising
Notice where you prioritise others at your own expense and why that feels necessary
Develop boundaries that protect your autonomy while staying emotionally engaged
Explore intimacy, desire and emotional connection
Unpack shame, fear, and relational habits that interfere with closeness
Examine how self-doubt and overthinking affect your capacity for desire and authenticity
Connect with your own needs and longings without losing yourself in the process
Explore how shame, fear, and self-doubt shape your experience of intimacy
Understand how overthinking and anxiety show up when closeness deepens
Reconnect with your own desire and emotional needs without disappearing inside relationships
Work with me
Whether you need one powerful session to get unstuck, a group of women who get it, or longer-term support, there’s space here for you.
Counselling and Psychotherapy
Deep relational therapy for lasting change
Ongoing therapy is where we go deeper. Together, we explore the relational patterns, self-sabotage, and inner critic that keep you stuck in overthinking and over-accommodation. You’ll have space to pause, reflect, and start showing up as yourself in relationships.
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In our first intro call, we’ll discuss what brought you here and what you want to change. From your first session and over time, we’ll uncover the roots of your struggles, including early relational experiences, unconscious patterns, and recurring relational dynamics, and develop new ways of relating to yourself and others.
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Therapy with me is relational and active. I’m not about silently nodding while you talk. We notice the patterns that hold you back, such as people-pleasing and shrinking yourself, and work on building boundaries, self-trust, and authentic presence in your relationships.
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50-minute weekly sessions, online or in Bisley, Surrey. £60 per session. Most clients find that 6+ months of consistent work produces meaningful change.
Single Session Therapy
Focused insight for the patterns taking up space in your mind
One session to tackle an issue or pattern that’s occupying the most headspace. We’ll cut through the external noise, explore underlying relational dynamics, and leave you with clarity and practical next steps you can use straight away.
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Complete a short pre-session form, then spend up to 60 minutes exploring one issue deeply. Optional 15-minute follow-up call available.
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SST is ideal if you’re reflective and self-aware but need help untangling one persistent issue. SST is not a replacement for ongoing therapy, but it provides insight, momentum, or a reset when you need it most.
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A single session is £72 for up to 60 minutes, as well as a pre-session form and optional 15-minute follow-up call. Online or in-person in Bisley, near Woking.
Group Therapy
A rare space to practice being yourself alongside other women in the same boat
Group therapy is a place to explore your needs, express yourself, and notice relational patterns as they happen, in connection with other women who understand. This isn’t about sharing tips or giving each other advice. It’s about deep reflection and real, in-the-moment relational insight.
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You’ll practise naming your feelings, expressing your needs without guilt, and noticing how your inner critic shows up in relationships. Group therapy is relational, challenging, messy, stretching, and also freeing.
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Women who appear to cope but feel drained or lost inside. If overthinking, self-doubt, or people-pleasing dominate your relationships, group therapy offers connection, insight, and space to be yourself.
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Please reach out for details of our next group. In/around Woking. Sessions cost £22, maximum eight women. A pre-group 1:1 conversation ensures it feels like the right fit.
A bit more about me
I focus on what keeps women stuck in overthinking, self-doubt, and over-accommodation in relationships, and help them understand their patterns so they can show up more fully as themselves. Therapy with me is active, reflective, and relational. I notice the patterns that hold you back, including your inner critic, over-adaptation, and self-sabotaging habits, and gently challenge them so you can start feeling more confident and grounded in your choices.
I believe in honest, real conversations without therapy-speak. We talk with nuance, not labels or social media terms. You’ll have space to explore your experiences, reflect on your relational dynamics, and develop insight into why relationships often leave you feeling smaller or disconnected from yourself.
I also practice what I preach. I have my own therapy, set my own boundaries, and work on my own patterns, so I know firsthand how challenging it can be to navigate this journey. I'm deeply feminist, and passionate about creating a world where women don't have to shrink themselves to make others comfortable.
When I'm not in the therapy room, you'll find me on long walks with my dog, enjoying a good coffee or watching horror films that'd keep most people up all night.
Kind words from my clients
"You truly are an amazing counsellor. You helped me along and kept my anxiety at bay so thank you for all you've done for me."
“Just want to thank you, Aimee, for the work we did together. I found it really beneficial, you were amazing with me and I never missed one session. I found out so much about myself and I have definitely grown as a person.”
“Thank you, Aimee, for always listening to me and helping me to understand my feelings are valid. You have been so supportive, I am very grateful for the counselling that I received.”
FAQs
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Even when you know better intellectually, unconscious relational dynamics and early experiences can pull you into the same cycles. Therapy helps you notice triggers and make different choices.
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Attraction is shaped by early relational patterns and unconscious habits. You might have heard of attachment theory? Therapy helps you recognise these cycles and create healthier relationship choices.
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We'll start with a short chat, either on the phone or over video call, so you can get a feel for me and clarify what you're looking for from therapy. If it feels like a good fit on both sides, we'll book your first session.
As an integrative therapist, I draw on different approaches to create a warm, reflective space where it's possible to work through your issues. I believe you're the expert on your own life, so our work isn't about me giving advice or finding solutions for you; it's about enabling you to find your own way forward.
In our sessions, you can expect:
A calm, supportive space where your feelings and needs are genuinely respected
A pace that honours your emotional safety (no pushing or rushing)
Encouragement to practise more self-compassion. If that sounds tricky, don't worry - you can borrow some of mine while you get the hang of it
Space for silence if that's what you need, a few swear words if that helps, and laughter when it feels right
Full permission to show up exactly as you are
Honest, respectful attunement. And if I ever get it wrong, you'll receive a genuine, non-defensive repair
I'll regularly check in with you to ensure the sessions are meeting your needs, and we'll make any tweaks as needed.
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That is something we can decide between us. Some people find short-term therapy (6–12 sessions) helpful, whereas others like to work in an open-ended way. I like to incorporate reviews every 6-8 sessions to ensure you are getting what you need from therapy.
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Our therapeutic contract stipulates that all sessions are confidential with the following exceptions:
If I assess you to be at risk of harm to yourself or others
If I assess that you are involved in or have information about others involved in terrorism
In medical emergencies
To fulfil legal requirements (e.g. courts)
I share some contextual details of the therapeutic relationship with my supervisor, who is bound by the same ethical agreement as me, and only your first name is declared for the benefit of the supervisory session. My supervisor keeps brief supervision notes and knows only your first name. Only under the circumstances above will confidentiality be broken.
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Perhaps. If it is important to you, then quite possibly. Self-disclosure is delicate in therapy, but I understand the desire to know more about the person you are sharing your life story with!
As a general rule, I like to consider why it matters to you, and whether it is helpful to you.
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I have a Foundation degree (FdSc) in Integrative Counselling which was highly focused on ethical practice. I am also a registered member of the BACP and abide by their Ethical Framework.
I undertake regular training and CPD to keep in touch with developments and I have full professional indemnity insurance. Additionally, I have an enhanced DBS check and maximum-security clearance for the criminal justice system from my work in prisons.
Let’s Talk
I believe that talking really can help. If you are interested in counselling and psychotherapy or have any questions, please get in touch for a no-obligation, informal and confidential discovery call.
You don’t have to know exactly what to say, we’ll figure it out together.
