Therapy for women who lose themselves in relationships
If you keep dating emotionally unavailable partners, losing yourself in relationships, or wondering why you can't choose differently, even when part of you can see exactly what's happening, I help you understand what's driving it underneath.
For women who are thoughtful, self-aware, and utterly frustrated by their own patterns.
When your relationships leave you feeling smaller
You're capable, reflective and often very clear about yourself when you're on your own. But in dating and relationships, something shifts.
You end up taking responsibility when things go wrong, even when part of you knows it isn't yours to carry. You start second-guessing your needs and instincts the moment you're involved with someone. Or maybe you become quieter or more accommodating. You probably see the pattern coming and still can't seem to stop it.
You might have spent years trying to understand this. Talking it through with friends. Reading about attachment theory and perhaps even working on it in therapy before.
Most women I work with are already blaming themselves for repeating these patterns, telling me "I'm the common denominator." But therapy with me is about slowing that self-blame down and looking more carefully at the relational dynamics that keep pulling you back into the same roles.
How I can help
Whether you need one powerful session to get unstuck, a group of women who get it, or longer-term support, there’s space here for you.
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![A woman with glasses and a striped shirt working on her laptop in a coffee shop, looking thoughtful with her hand on her chin.]()
Counselling and Psychotherapy
Ongoing weekly or fortnightly sessions exploring the relational patterns, defences, and unconscious dynamics that keep pulling you back into the same roles. This is the core of the work.
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![Group of people stacking their hands together in a show of unity or teamwork. Representing group therapy in Woking by Therapy with Aimee, a counsellor in Bisley near Woking in Surrey, and online across the UK.]()
Group Therapy
A closed group for women who lose themselves in relationships. A rare space to practice being yourself, in real time, alongside other women who get it.
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Single Session Therapy
One focused session to get underneath a specific pattern or moment that's taking up the most headspace right now.
Specialist therapy for women
Therapy for PMDD
If PMDD is derailing your relationships, your sense of identity, or your capacity to trust your own mind every single month, there's a specific kind of work that can help. Not symptom management. Not mood tracking. Depth work that gets underneath what PMDD is exposing about you and your relational patterns.
Therapy for Endometriosis
If endometriosis has reshaped your identity, your relationships, your sex life and your sense of what you're allowed to want, there's a specific kind of work that can help. It’s not about pain management or about finding new coping strategies. It’s depth work that gets underneath what living with endo has done to you and how it impacts you.
About me
I'm an FdSc-qualified relational psychotherapist, registered with the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society. I've been that woman, the one who could see the pattern coming but couldn't stop it. I've done the work. I still do the work.
I'm a sweary feminist who believes women have been sold a lie about love, autonomy and what it means to take up space. My work is sex-positive, culturally inclusive and grounded in the belief that you need space to unlearn the shit that's been keeping you small.
I don't care for therapy-speak or Instagram psychology. I do depth, nuance and real fucking conversations about why you keep losing yourself.
Kind words from my clients
"You truly are an amazing counsellor. You helped me along and kept my anxiety at bay so thank you for all you've done for me."
“Just want to thank you, Aimee, for the work we did together. I found it really beneficial, you were amazing with me and I never missed one session. I found out so much about myself and I have definitely grown as a person.”
“Thank you, Aimee, for always listening to me and helping me to understand my feelings are valid. You have been so supportive, I am very grateful for the counselling that I received.”
FAQs
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Because insight alone doesn't change them. You can know exactly what you're doing, see the pattern coming from a mile off and still find yourself back in the same place. That's not a failure of willpower or self-awareness. It's because these patterns were formed in your earliest relationships, long before you had language for them, and they live in the body and in the unconscious, not in the thinking mind. That's why reading about them doesn't shift them. The work that does is slower, more relational, and goes underneath.
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On some level, it makes sense - not consciously, but underneath. What we're drawn to in relationships is rarely random. It's shaped by early experiences of love, availability, and what you learned to expect from the people who mattered most. When someone being unavailable feels familiar, it can register (outside of your awareness) to you as chemistry. Therapy isn't about making better choices through willpower. It's about understanding what's driving the choice in the first place, so something can actually shift.
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We'll start with a short chat, either on the phone or over video call, so you can get a feel for me and clarify what you're looking for from therapy. If it feels like a good fit on both sides, we'll book your first session.
As an integrative therapist, I draw on different approaches to create a warm, reflective space where it's possible to work through your issues. I believe you're the expert on your own life, so our work isn't about me giving advice or finding solutions for you; it's about enabling you to find your own way forward.
In our sessions, you can expect:
A calm, supportive space where your feelings and needs are genuinely respected
A pace that honours your emotional safety (no pushing or rushing)
Encouragement to practise more self-compassion. If that sounds tricky, don't worry - you can borrow some of mine while you get the hang of it
Space for silence if that's what you need, a few swear words if that helps, and laughter when it feels right
Full permission to show up exactly as you are
Honest, respectful attunement. And if I ever get it wrong, you'll receive a genuine, non-defensive repair
I'll regularly check in with you to ensure the sessions are meeting your needs, and we'll make any tweaks as needed.
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That is something we can decide between us. Some people find short-term therapy (6–12 sessions) helpful, whereas others like to work in an open-ended way. I like to incorporate reviews every 6-8 sessions to ensure you are getting what you need from therapy.
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Our therapeutic contract stipulates that all sessions are confidential with the following exceptions:
If I assess you to be at risk of harm to yourself or others
If I assess that you are involved in or have information about others involved in terrorism
In medical emergencies
To fulfil legal requirements (e.g. courts)
I share some contextual details of the therapeutic relationship with my supervisor, who is bound by the same ethical agreement as me, and only your first name is declared for the benefit of the supervisory session. My supervisor keeps brief supervision notes and knows only your first name. Only under the circumstances above will confidentiality be broken.
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Perhaps. If it is important to you, then quite possibly. Self-disclosure is delicate in therapy, but I understand the desire to know more about the person you are sharing your life story with!
As a general rule, I like to consider why it matters to you, and whether it is helpful to you.
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I have a Foundation degree (FdSc) in Integrative Counselling which was highly focused on ethical practice. I am an Accredited Registrant of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS), whose register is recognised by the Professional Standards Authority to ensure the public can choose safe, ethical and competent professionals when looking for support. I abide by their Code of Ethics, and I undertake regular training and CPD to keep in touch with developments. I have full professional indemnity insurance, a DBS check and maximum-security clearance for the criminal justice system from my work in prisons.
Let’s Talk
I believe that talking really can help. If you are interested in counselling and psychotherapy, or you just have some questions, please get in touch for a no-obligation, informal and confidential chat.
You don’t have to know exactly what to say, we’ll figure it out together.
If you're not ready to book yet…
Thoughts on relationships, patterns, identity and why you keep ending up in the same place. No wellness clichés, no soft-focus advice. Just honest, psychologically informed writing for women who are done with surface-level answers.
